I caught myself in a mindset I hate. A “it’s not enough” or “qualified enough” or “good enough” or “significant enough” mindset, so don’t do it.
And I remind myself that tomorrow is not guaranteed, so JUST DO IT.
I thought “40 isn’t that big of a milestone”, I should wait till 50 or some other time to share the things I’ve learned.
But the winter is my time to try to cut back on travel (I don’t know if I’ve been “traveling a lot this year” or straight up “ON THE RUN” this year). It’s felt fast and furious and I’ve been traveling in a way that sometimes felt like I couldn’t catch my breath.
This is my time to rest, reflect and slow down (just a tiny bit). Here’s what’s on my mind…
40. Identify what makes you feel alive
What truly makes you feel alive shouldn’t be a rare event; it’s what should fill your days. People often drift through life without recognizing their passions. That’s why I swear by the self-discovery that comes with solo travel. There is no faster way to learn more about yourself SO fast.
Through my own travels, I’ve come to realize that life’s too short for “someday.” Don’t wait to take the trip. I used to travel to NYC alone at least one weekend a month for years. It doesn’t have to be to some far and foreign place.
And once you start to get to know yourself, start to write down ALL the things that make you feel REALLY ALIVE.
And make a point of doing those things… regularly.
39. Reconsider your relationships
It might be time to break up with some people.
There comes a time when we must evaluate our personal inventory—not just the tangible clutter in our homes but the relationships that fill our lives. Inspired by Marie Kondo’s philosophy of tidying up, I’ve come to realize that organizing isn’t just for drawers and closets; it’s for the people we surround ourselves with as well.
The quality of our life is profoundly impacted by who we let in, making us the ultimate gatekeepers of our own social spheres.
Mel Robbins once said that the length of a friendship doesn’t necessarily equate to its strength. Time spent together doesn’t automatically mean a relationship is beneficial or fulfilling. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but longevity doesn’t always mean a relationship is still serving its purpose in our lives.
It took a pivotal moment for me—stepping away from my previous marriage—to understand the importance of this. As I navigated through that transition, I found that not everyone around me was supportive or understanding of my choices. It was then I learned that sometimes, relationships need to be paused, or even ended, to protect our own well-being.
This isn’t to say that we should abandon relationships at the first sign of disagreement. However, it’s crucial to periodically hold each relationship up to the light and assess how it makes us feel. Is it supportive, loving, draining, or perhaps indifferent? This isn’t just a mental exercise but an emotional one. Let the people you care about know their value in your life. Expressing love and appreciation strengthens bonds. Conversely, it’s just as important to recognize when someone’s role in our life has run its course.
The decision to ‘break up’ with someone isn’t easy, but it’s sometimes necessary. Tidying up our social circle can be just as refreshing and vital as organizing our physical space. It’s about ensuring that the people closest to us are those who contribute positively to our lives. So take a moment to consider: How does each person in your life affect your daily existence? Do they bring joy, support, and growth? Or is it time to reconsider your relationships and make room for more positive interactions?
37. Stop “shoulding” yourself
In a world teeming with unsolicited advice and cultural expectations, it’s all too easy to find ourselves caught in a storm of “shoulds.” The constant barrage of what we should be doing, eating, feeling, or achieving is not only exhausting—it’s like a personal affront to our autonomy. This relentless pressure can make us lose sight of what we truly want. It’s time we stop “shoulding” ourselves to death.
Every day, take note of how many times you get bombarded with others’ expectations. More importantly, be aware of how often you impose these “shoulds” on yourself. “I should be more productive,” “I shouldn’t feel this way,” “I should be content with what I have”—the list is endless. But here’s the twist: what if you simply allowed yourself to feel what you’re feeling or do what you’re actually drawn to? As long as it brings you happiness and moves you forward in life, that’s what really matters.
I recall a conversation with a former colleague in New York City. She had a successful corporate career but felt drawn to start her own business—a venture in helping people with their sex lives. While most people told her what she should do (which was to stick to her secure job), I told her the opposite: do what makes your heart sing. Why? Because life’s too short for regrets. Jobs will come and go, but that burning ‘what if’ can haunt you forever.
So, let’s flip the script. Instead of listening to the cacophony of shoulds, why not tune into your own heart and gut? They’re usually right. Forget about the car you should drive, the milestones you should have achieved by now, or the possessions you should own. These societal benchmarks are arbitrary at best. The job, the 401(k), the title—these things will likely be there tomorrow, but your current passion and opportunity may not.
In the end, let’s make a pact to replace ‘should’ with ‘could.’ It’s about potential, not obligation. Don’t let the fear of stepping off the prescribed path prevent you from chasing what truly excites you. Stop “shoulding” yourself, and start living for what you could create, discover, and enjoy. That’s the life you owe to yourself—free from “shoulds.”
37. Love yourself, respect yourself, treat yourself, laugh at yourself
Loving yourself means treating yourself with the same kindness, respect, and patience you would offer to a beloved friend. It’s about laughing at your own jokes, relishing your own company, and enjoying life’s journey with yourself as your favorite travel partner.
Whether I’m exploring new destinations or simply spending a day at home, I’ve learned that the most fulfilling relationship I have is the one with myself. It’s a bond worth nurturing, a company worth enjoying, and a love story worth telling. So here’s to self-love, self-respect, treating yourself, and yes, laughing at yourself, because when you’re at peace with your own company, life becomes a much more joyful ride.
36. Realize you aren’t perfect, and that’s perfect
In our quest for flawlessness, it’s crucial to ask ourselves, “When did we last achieve absolute perfection?” As a recovering perfectionist, I can attest to the rarity of such moments. Take, for instance, the simple act of pouring champagne to the brim. Achieving that precise level where a bubble crowns the glass might seem like perfection, but it’s an elusive and, frankly, an inconsequential victory. This fixation on perfection is a mirage—it doesn’t exist. When I embraced this truth, the liberation was transformative. The weight of unrealistic expectations lifted, and my life was infused with newfound freedom and ease.
The idea of perfection, especially in the digital age, is often a barrier to productivity and creativity. I’ve reached a point where I openly admit in emails, “I didn’t proofread this,” inviting people to engage in a more dynamic and authentic conversation if something isn’t clear. It’s a declaration that what I’ve done is “good enough,” and good enough truly is sufficient. We live in a society that mistakes ‘good enough’ for mediocrity, when, in fact, it is a practical form of excellence.
Reflecting on my career as a content creator, with hundreds of videos across various channels, not one of those creations is without flaws. If I had been hellbent on perfection, I would have been paralyzed, likely never publishing a single video. The pursuit of the unattainable would have stifled all productivity. Recognizing that none of us is perfect – and that this imperfection is what makes life genuine and relatable – is a critical step towards contentment. I’ve renounced perfectionism because I detest the limitation it imposes. Embrace your imperfections, as they are indeed perfect in their own right. Let go of the unachievable and watch how your life expands into a more joyful and authentic existence.
Want to HEAR or SEE this post? Check out the full video below!
35. SPEAK YOUR MIND
Speak your mind – it’s a privilege we have in America that shouldn’t be taken for granted. In my experience, both in urban corporate settings and personal life, I’ve learned the value of honest expression. Whether it’s calling out something wrong or declaring love, it’s crucial not to suppress your feelings.
For instance, I once openly confessed my love, and though it didn’t lead to a relationship, I felt liberated. In my current relationship, honest communication has been key. This approach even led me to meet my partner, Meatball, by simply expressing myself in a nightclub. Now, years later, we’ve built a life where open dialogue is a cornerstone.
Always remember, speaking your mind can shape your life in unexpected and fulfilling ways.
34. Say what you mean and DO what you say
In a world where authenticity seems rare, it’s essential to say what you mean and do what you say.
As I navigate through life, especially post-20s, I find it increasingly challenging to encounter ‘real ones’ — people who are true to themselves. In my interactions, particularly with social media influencers, I’ve noticed a lot of pretense.
Life’s too short for that. I value genuineness, like being the person others expect based on my online presence. A recent incident made me realize the importance of direct communication.
A friend didn’t tell me the truth to avoid hurting my feelings, but it only led to more confusion. It’s straightforward: be honest and follow through on your commitments. Why complicate life with insincerity and unreliability? Let’s keep it real — both in words and actions.
33. Know your circle
Understanding and valuing your inner circle is crucial. I’ve learned that it’s far better to have a few people who genuinely love and care for you than to be surrounded by many who are indifferent or just want to take advantage of you.
Quality trumps quantity in relationships.
It’s important to hold each close friend in your heart and assess if they truly belong in your life. While I strive not to let anyone down, my focus is especially on not disappointing those in my inner circle. Recognize who the ‘real ones’ are in your life, cherish them, and make sure they know how much they mean to you. Remember, we’re not promised tomorrow, so it’s vital to express our feelings today.
32. Know you have a FINITE number of F*s to give
Learning to value your time and what you care about is a crucial life lesson. In my 20s, I had an abundance of energy and willingness to help others, often saying yes to every request. However, I’ve come to realize that our time is finite and precious.
We all have just 24 hours in a day, and it’s vital to spend it on things we truly care about. Now, I am much more specific about what I devote my time and energy to. It’s essential to know what matters to you and to allocate your time accordingly, rather than spreading yourself too thin.
Remember, being selective with your commitments is not just wise, it’s necessary.
31. NO ONE is watching you. In fact, most people don’t care about you
Most people aren’t watching you as closely as you think. This is especially true in my experience as a content creator. Despite having hundreds of thousands of viewers each month, I’ve realized that the fear of judgment and self-consciousness is often unfounded.
Take a simple example: do you really notice what others wear or how they look when you’re out at a restaurant? Chances are, you don’t.
We often worry unnecessarily about our appearance and actions, thinking others will care, but in reality, they’re mostly focused on themselves. It’s time to let go of these concerns and live more freely. Stop worrying about the ‘shoulds’ – whether it’s your hairstyle, makeup, or clothes – and embrace a more relaxed approach. Remember, you are your biggest critic, and most people are too involved in their own lives to pay much attention to yours
30. You are a reflection of the 5 people you spend the most time with
You’re a reflection of the top five people in your life. This truth became clearer to me as I grew older and chose my circle wisely.
For instance, my rapid improvement in pickleball wasn’t due to prior experience in racket sports, but because I frequently played with and learned from better players, including my skilled sister.
In content creation, I thrived not just by interacting with peers but by engaging with more successful creators, absorbing their techniques and insights. This approach propelled my growth, even during challenging times like the pandemic. The lesson here is clear: the people you surround yourself with shape you. They can elevate your skills, broaden your perspectives, and reflect the person you aspire to be.
So, cherish and acknowledge those who positively impact your life, and remember, the company you keep is a mirror of your own growth and aspirations.
29. Don’t ever figure it out
It’s not fun when you do. Life is an adventure that is ever-changing. When I DID have a 5, 10 or 20 year plan, it was one of the most depressing days of my life.
28. Understand what IS and IS NOT in your control
Focus on what IS in your control. Understand what it isn’t.
27. Stop complaining
Literally NO one wants to hear it, and it doesn’t help your situation. If anything, it keeps you in the wrong mindset to overcome a situation.
26. Whatever you do, don’t make a decision in a panic
In fact this is the WORST time to make a decision.
25. Don’t add fire to the negativity conversation
It’s too common and too easy to “one-up” someone else’s bad day or bad experience. But have you noticed that this negative spiral doesn’t LIFT anyone up?
WATCH or LISTEN to the podcast version of this blog post!
24. We think it’s about money, but it’s really about freedom of time
Money is a tool. Freedom of TIME is everything.
23. You NEVER KNOW what’s really going on with a person
That person who just cut you off in traffic might be racing to the hospital to have a baby. Or that person having a bad day might be… just having a bad day. You don’t know. Give some grace, don’t assume anything about anyone.
22. What people feel inside is what they show to the outside world
Don’t assume it’s you. It’s often them.
21. Love harder
It ALL comes down to love. Period.
20. Stop questioning why you feel a certain way and just feel it
There is no reason to involve your brain in something your heart (or gut, or body) is feeling. Just feel it!
19. Wear sunscreen
No, seriously.
18. The world will mirror what you give it
The energy you put out to the world is what you will receive.
17. You’ll find what you’re looking for
Good or bad in a situation, as long as you’re tunnel vision on finding it, you will. Don’t forget our perception is our reality.
16. Cherish the place you call home
It’s more important than we think, and should be given the thought, love and attention it deserves.
15. How you feel about your age is in direct proportion to how you will age
Breaking the Age Code was a fascinating read. Stop thinking aging is a bad thing. Most people do.
14. Understand what feeds and drains your energy – then build your life around that
Within what’s in your control, focus on bringing more things into your life that feed your energy and lift you up.
13. We can re invent ourselves over and over
You’re never too late or too old to get started.
12. Start everyday with gratitude
We have SO MUCH to be thankful for.
11. Dream bigger
We all dream way too small. Check out Mel Robbins’ for more inspo.
Listen to the audio podcast of this blog post!
10. Identify, then get closer to your fears
Too many people spend too much time being afraid of something they later realized “I don’t know why I was afraid of that”.
Bottom Line
40 learnings. By 40. With more coming… stay tuned.
Emile Waldon says
Hello whereintheworldiscl.com administrator, Keep up the good work!
whereintheworldiscl says
Thanks!
Hi,
I’ve recently found your YouTube channel when I received my mini 4 pro and was looking for advice. Your smile, information and joy is terrific and you are a pleasure to watch and learn from. I found this post, and as someone who is a bit older than you, I can vouch for everything you’ve listed. Simple direct honesty and sincerity, with follow through on promises, makes life so much easier and avoids most of the hassles that come with polite, but insincere, words. Too many people choose insincere politeness over honest, but sometimes difficult, discussions which often only fosters greater problems down the road.
I wish you the very best, much happiness, and continued success. I look forward to seeing your contagious joy on the screen.
Ted
Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it,
you might be a great author.I will always bookmark your
blog and will come back someday. I want to encourage one to
continue your great writing, have a nice weekend!
Thank you!
Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it
to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed
the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it
pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely
off topic but I had to tell someone!
😯